White Horse
by Trinity-force-2004
Summary: Harry goes through some very hard times and has to learn to cope with all that life throws his way. Hermione is there to help him of course, and together they just might make it through. In progress...! please review


**1. Rings of Mystery**

It was midnight on July 30th, and Harry James Potter, the-boy-who-lived, the savior of the free world, stood on the edge of the cliff overlooking the vast expanse of water, glistening like oil in the reflection of the full moon. He would not yet accept what had happened, not yet. He sighed sadly and wistfully as the wind rustled his already unruly hair, as he wished, yet again, that he would someday have a normal life. But he knew that even if Voldemort was killed and the death eaters disbanded and all that the wizarding world hoped for came true, he would still not be at peace. People couldn't understand that he did not want all the fame that had been so drastically put on him at such a young age. Did anybody really think it was fun to walk around and have people stare and whisper, even if what they said wasn't bad?

Shivering a bit, he put his hands deeper into his pockets and wondered why he felt so cold on such a humid day. It was cloudy and wet, but the air closed in about him, suffocating him. There was not much that this young man did not understand. He had seen death too many times, as well as seen and felt torture, both physically and emotionally. If one could get past the gorgeous shimmering green of his eyes, they would be able to see straight into his essence, an incredibly brave, wise and somewhat tempered boy, surrounded by doubt but never wavering. Harry was popular at Hogwarts, and not just for the lightning-bolt scar on his forehead. He was kind, passionate and sensitive, if not always understanding quite what others where feeling. He was apt to lose his temper sometimes, but always apologized, and people knew that it was just his way.

Life had not been kind to Harry. Yes, he had many friends and was an excellent Quidditch player, the best that Hogwarts had ever seen, but yet no colleges had yet asked to recruit him, and Harry was already in his last year. But there was a simple reason for this. Nobody was sure if Harry would even live long enough to see his 18th birthday. For he had and immense weight on his shoulders. He must either save, or doom the entire world, wizard and muggle alike, within the coming weeks. Voldemort was on the move, opening gathering supports and massing together an army of the most fearful creatures known to humans. Harry himself did not know what was going to happen. He had learned how to master the power within him, able to do some forms of wandless magic and could turn into an animal at will. Harry had mastered the animagus magic the summer of his 5th year when he went to Grimmauld Place. The place still haunted his dreams, as did the veil and the whispers. However, it was a perfect place to practice becoming an illegal animagus (for Dumbledore decided that it was best if Harry's form was not to be widely known). Finally, after a month of hard work and concentration, Harry Potter could be a beautiful brown stallion at will. He was rather surprised at first that this was to be his animal, but it made sense, seeing as James Potter had been a stag. Hermione had also learned, and could turn into a white horse to match Harry, which pleased them both. 'Ron would have made a good animagus' thought Harry, not for the first time. But there was no point pretending that Ron hadn't died. Harry felt it best to be blunt with himself, because it hurt less. And now Hermione. She had managed to fill in all the hurts and empty places of Harry's soul. Except for one. Harry never truly believed that she should stay with him, knowing full well that his life could end at any point. When he had approached her about this. She simply said "Harry Potter, you may be the-boy-who-lived, but I am Hermione Granger and I will love you until the day you die, whether it be tomorrow or in 300 years." She always knew what to say, but Harry never really felt truly at ease with their relationship, not because he didn't love her, but because it was so fragile.

At that point, feeling too fed up with human emotions, Harry transformed into the gleaming chestnut colored horse. Although he could still feel emotions as an animal, they seemed to be less intense.

Just then, Harry heard a sound from behind him as somebody moved towards him. He turned and saw a luminous white maress, his counterpart, trotting towards him. She came beside him and nuzzled his neck; somehow she was able to feel the pain he was in. Suddenly the white horse became a beautiful young woman, with wavy almond hair, a fit physique, and a sad look in her hazel eyes. She wore a light blue dress that shone like that of her stallion's white coat and shimmered in the moonlight.

"Harry," she whispered into the stallion's ear, "please talk to me". She watched as the horse became Harry. She gasped. He did not look well at all. He usually looked bad when he came home from a mission, but not like this. His clothes were torn and bloody and his glasses were broken. But worst of all were his eyes. Usually dancing and full of life when they were together, they looked today as if something in him died. They were dark green and clouded, not the normal emerald color. She saw his hand that held his wand tremble, either from rage or grief, she didn't know. He dropped his wand and fell to his knees, looking for all the world like a lost puppy, unsure and unknowing.

"Harry! Harry you must tell me what happened, please Harry" she cried, now down on the ground with him. No response. Tears began to fall down her face as she pleaded again. "Oh Harry, please, don't leave me here alone...". At this, Harry seemed to move, a slight jerk.

"Don't cry, love. I'll be alright" he said quietly, taking one of her hands in his own.

"You were always a bad liar, Harry James Potter, and nothing has changed. Tell me what happened at the attack," said Hermoine softly yet firmly.

"We lost Tonks, Kinglsey, Seamus and...and Neville," Harry said, his voice wavering, especially when he said Neville's name. Harry and Neville had become very close friends ever since the Department of Mysteries, when Neville showed himself to be a very capable wizard. Hermione knew what the loss of such a great wizard meant for the world, and what the loss of such a friend meant for Harry.

"I...I'm so sorry Harry, for everything..." she whispered. Harry gave her a questioning look, obviously wondering what "everything" was. She answered his unspoken question. "You don't deserve any of this. All these deaths, all this hurt, it doesn't belong to you. It's just not fair...DAMNIT Harry why you?" she cried bitterly, nearly screamed the last part, tears streaming down her face, and she half excpected Harry to get up and walk away from her, because he didn't need to hear it. Instead she felt his cool hands on her face, turning her eyes towards him.

"There isn't any other way Hermione. Fate intervened and we have to live with it. I wish, for your sake, that it had not been I chosen to be the sole defender of Earth, but as I said, that choice wasn't mine to make. It's my purpose of existence."

"You are wrong about two things Harry. First, you are certainly not the 'sole' defender of Earth, because I will always be there with you, and second, it is not your purpose in life. It is what you must accomplish right now in time, but when Voldemort is dead and you have saved us all, then what?" she asked, "do you plan on chasing after a man who had been slain? You will have a life of your own again Harry." She was slightly gladdened to see her speech had helped. Harry had a small smile on his lips and some of the old life back in his eyes, no longer so cloudy.

"Ah, but there is something I plan to do when this whole ordeal is over, love." Harry took out a small velvet box from his cloak and Hermione looked stunned. "This is a promise ring, Mione, it means that when then world has had enough of me, that I fully intend to make you Mrs. Potter, if you will accept. He looked pleadingly into her eyes, knowing that if she refused his offer then he would be likely to throw himself off the cliff. However, he saw in her eyes a look of pure bliss and comfort, and knew he need not worry.

"Harry, I love you so much. Nothing would make me happier then wearing your ring." He opened the box then, and even through the night Hermione could see the glittering diamond surrounded by two emeralds. Although Hermione would have been happy with a twist-tie ring, this was much better looking. Her eyes filled with tears again and she watched, entranced, as Harry slid the ring on to her finger. As soon as she had it on, a strange feeling encompassed her. She felt love pouring in on her, but also fear, sadness and doubt.

"Harry..." she asked carefully, "does this ring have any, er, magical qualities? Because suddenly I feel...different..." Harry nodded his head.

"Yeah, I know what you're talking about....My head feels lighter, it's odd." Suddenly he understood. "That ring you have, I have the matching one," he said, showing her the gold band with the same stones as Hermione's but smaller, "they came from my mother and father. Sirius left them to me, and I suppose mum and dad could have placed some special spell on them, to connect the people wearing them. I'm so sorry, Mione, I didn't realize what they were magical..." Harry stopped talking, obviously scared about how Hermione would react.

"It's really okay, Harry. I have no problems at all sharing rings with the person I love. Perhaps someday we'll find out what this connection means. Maybe we can become some sort of teen super heroes. I always did like The Teenage Mutant Ninga Turtles..." Hermione replied. Harry laughed, the first laugh Hermione had seen in too long. His features lit up when he laughed and it seemed the shadow in his eyes had been subdued, at least for the time being. Then he sobered up and looked into her eyes with a fierce intensity.

"I love you, Hermione. No matter what happens with Voldemort, you have to understand that. I would give up everything and leave this place forever if you asked," said Harry quietly.

"But I don't ask, Harry. You know what you must do. And I know what I must do. Someday, Harry...you'll see." Her features too now lit, thinking of the life they might spend together, and she smiled. Harry got to his feet and offered Hermione a hand. "I've missed you so much every day" she said when they were both on their feet. She hugged him tightly, as if the signify that she would not let him go again.

"Love, I was only gone for a week..." said Harry softly, but he held her close to him. She looked up and smiled, and their eyes locked. She got lost, as always, in his jade depths, and he was entranced by her soft toffee eyes. Harry leaned down and they kissed. They kissed for passion, for sorrow, for hope and for survival, but most of all, they kissed for love. When they finally broke apart some minutes later, Harry looked deep into her eyes, twirling a tendril of her hair around his finger.

"We are going to be okay, you know that," he said. It was more of a statement then a question, for it was one tangent that did not need disusion. "I love you, Hermione, and I always will, no matter what happens to us...to me."

A single tear fell down Hermione's face. "I understand. I love you, and will love you, forever."

"Forever is an awfully long time, love."

"I know." And they walked back to the castle, hands interwoven, their rings humming a peaceful song of compassion.


End file.
